Today was a difficult day. Usually on Tuesdays I have help from my sister and mom but today they had some important stuff to do at work. So I was a one man show. And it did not begin well with the kids. I had Jake throwing a massive tantrum because I wanted him to do a homework page. Ellie did not want anything to eat so I had to fight her to eat. After breakfast and our battles then it was time for me to run around like a chicken with my head cut off. Ellie went to school, Jake went to two schools, Ellie had therapy, and then the kids took Taekwondo Class. At Jakes first school one of the moms got into a conversation with me about Ellie. She was unaware of what was going on. Basically it all started when I said something like “man, today is a crazy busy day” She then proceeded to ask some questions and It came out that Ellie had a brain tumor and now she is in Chemo. The hardest thing I hear often is “Well now she is ok right?”
How do you tell someone that nope not really? We don’t know if she will survive this. How do I talk about it without crying? It just isn’t ok. The reality of it is no one knows if she will be ok. So it was an emotionally draining morning.
When I took Ellie to Speech in the afternoon I was so incredibly pleased. We looked at pictures before she started therapy and pictures as of today. She is making leaps and bounds with regaining function in her right side of her face. She even took a few sips of water from a cup without spilling. How incredible it feels that the therapy is working. We daily have to do therapy at home with Ellie to keep trying to stimulate the nerves. It just feels so good to have such big accomplishments and to validate all the therapy work.
Ellie and Jake both took Taekwondo Class today. I am so proud of both of them. They both did a fantastic job. We then came home for some well deserved R & R. Tuesday nights are so hard because Jake spends the night at my sisters so we don’t have to wake him so early when we leave for the hospital. Every Tuesday night Jake asks why he cannot go to the hospital with me. He is such a sweet loving boy sometimes. I always try to explain that we are not having a party or any fun at the hospital, it is all business.
So tomorrow is Chemo treatment #8. June 9th will be Ellie’s first MRI since she began treatment. At this point we will find out if the Chemo is working. I pray it is. Dave and I did decide to go ahead with the experimental die contrast for her MRI. After researching it we decided it is just as safe as her normal contrast she gets when she gets her MRI. There is no harm in doing it just benefits. So the week of her MRI I will be downtown three days. It will be an exhausting week but I am looking forward to seeing the results so far of the Chemo. Well it is really late and I have an early morning. I was already in bed but couldn’t sleep so I figured I would do the blog. Night all and god bless.
A mother with a battle ahead of her.